I wonder how many of us husbands were raised by non-communicative fathers? Kyle, a friend of mine, and I were having lunch the other day at Applebee’s. His dad is experiencing aging issues that include some behavioral changes, some expected and some not so expected. Kyle said that his dad has started talking about his feelings – that’s an unexpected change.…
How can we speak and listen, as husbands, so that our wives can hear and understand? It’s a matter of expressing, receiving, and our driving motivations.
Constructive communication between husbands and wives requires intentional and loving expression and receptivity. This is true for all couples, whether or not a spouse is the victim of childhood sexual abuse (CSA). The potential for misunderstandings in communication always exists. Consider the husband and wife whose date night resulted in two vastly different experiences and understandings. Her journal entry at…
In communicating with our wives, if we are not conscious of our motive, we will not be clear in our message. Let’s say that for date night with my wife I say, “Honey, let’s just order out Chinese and have a nice, quiet evening at home.” My message is disguising my motivation because the fuller story is that I’m worried…
From personal experience and from my interaction with other husbands whose wives are victims of childhood sexual abuse (CSA), I know that we men are often hesitant to express some of our needs and frustrations to our wives. Some fear usually hinders freedom of expression. For some, it’s fear that their wives will further distance themselves emotionally. Others may fear…
For many years, I assumed that anything with the word “self” in front of it was not good: selfish, self-indulgent, self-righteous, self-pity. I’ve now awakened to the fact that there are some exceptions and self-care is one of those exceptions. Jesus, the personification of selflessness, knowing the limitations of his disciples, guided them in self-care. When “so many people were…