Not all survivors talk about their childhood sexual abuse. But some do. Among those who do, some share the dark experiences and feelings of their trauma over and over. So as the husband of a survivor, what do you do when your wife shares her trauma with you? A husband’s mind can easily wander off to sports, work, and to-do…
The adverse factors are identified as we invest time and thought into our past and present. In this third video of a 3-part series, we explore and examine our lives’ hidden aspects and past trauma(s), which also give birth to adverse factors.
As we explore the scripts and scenes from our childhood home, we discover that they often expose adverse factors that we potentially adopt in our lives and carry forward into our marriages.
My primary work in fulfilling the mission of Marriage Reconstruction Ministries is with the husbands of sexual abuse survivors. Husbands contact me because their wives are experiencing disturbing effects that are disrupting their marriage. The effects can include shame, eating disorders, sexual intimacy struggles, relational conflict, depression, anxiety disorder, and more. These effects can distort perceptions, disrupt routines, and damage…
Navigating through Family Expectations during the Holidays “The Holidays!” Hallmark movies and cards present the holidays with warm, nostalgic scripts and scenes. Songs of the holidays resound with jingles of joy. Decorated homes and cookies portray all things nice and beautiful. The center stage for the holiday festivities is the family gathering. But for victims of childhood sexual abuse (CSA),…
Spouses of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) survivors speak of unmet desires in their lives. Also true is that survivors of CSA identify unmet desires in their lives. There’s more. The unrest in our Western society leads me to assume that most people have unmet desires. . . . most people have unmet desires. How about you? What deep ache in…
I wrote in a previous blog, “a reconstructed and healthy marriage is not the experience for all couples whose marriage is affected by childhood sexual abuse (CSA). Sometimes reconstruction is no longer viewed as a possibility” (What about the marriages that seem beyond reconstruction?). This blog is for those contemplating separation or divorce. It is an invitation to take inventory…
“My marriage and my wife are not what I expected.” Though many wives can speak these same words regarding their husbands, this blog is addressed to husbands. As a husband and visitor to this website, you might be thinking, “The effects of my wife’s childhood sexual abuse have changed my expectations for our marriage.” Unfulfilled expectations in marriage beg the…
“The Holidays!” Hallmark movies and cards present the holidays with warm, nostalgic scripts and scenes. Songs of the holidays resound with jingles of joy. Decorated homes and cookies portray all things nice and beautiful. The center stage for the holiday festivities is the family gathering. But for victims of childhood sexual abuse (CSA), being with the family of origin—where the…
In this 8-minute video, I offer 6 fundamental principles applied to everyday living for spouses of childhood sexual abuse survivors.