My primary work in fulfilling the mission of Marriage Reconstruction Ministries is with the husbands of sexual abuse survivors. Husbands contact me because their wives are experiencing disturbing effects that are disrupting their marriage. The effects can include shame, eating disorders, sexual intimacy struggles, relational conflict, depression, anxiety disorder, and more. These effects can distort perceptions, disrupt routines, and damage relationships.
Husbands contact me because their wives are experiencing disturbing effects that are disrupting their marriage.
Unfortunately, the survivor of sexual abuse—that is, the wives of the men with whom I speak—are sometimes viewed as the ones with all the problems who need counseling. They become labeled as the “identified patient.” The assumption is that if they work through “their stuff,” the relationship can return to normal. However, in the words of one guy who is the husband of a sexual abuse (SA) survivor, “We husbands bring our own stuff into the marriage.”
However, in the words of one guy who is the husband of a sexual abuse (SA) survivor, “We husbands bring our own stuff into the marriage.”
One consistent observation in my research of and work with husbands of SA survivors over the past 15-plus years is that husbands of SA survivors bring their own Adverse Factors into their marriage. Adverse Factors are the perspectives and behaviors a husband brings into his marriage that (a) mimic the events surrounding his wife’s sexual abuse and/or (b) clash with the effects of his wife’s sexual abuse.
Marriage Reconstruction Ministries announces the release of a 3-part video series about the Adverse Factors husbands bring into their marriage.
In the first video, I explain and illustrate four examples of adverse factors husbands can bring into their marriage. The next videos in this 3-part series equip us as husbands to identify the adverse factors we bring into our marriage.