We’re Moving into a New Chapter … and so are You.

My wife Pamela has ministered to survivors of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) for over 25 years, and together, we’ve been ministering to couples affected by CSA for over 15 years. For eight years, Marriage Reconstruction Ministries, Inc. (MRM) has been the “distribution center” of our ministry to couples by helping them reconstruct their marriage affected by a wife’s CSA. Our ministry…

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Dealing with the Losses Incurred from the Sexual Abuse of your Spouse

This blog is a sequel to an earlier blog titled “What is a Healthy Process for Dealing with the Loss You’ve Experienced in Your Relationship?” (Posted two weeks ago and on January 10, 2022). In Hiding from Love, John Townsend made this powerful statement. Make sadness your ally instead of your enemy. . . This sadness, or grief, allows you…

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Are You Courageous Enough to Explore and Admit Your Ignorance?

In a blog and video earlier this year, I identified and illustrated four adverse factors that husbands of sexual abuse (SA) survivors potentially bring into their marriage. Adverse Factors are the perspectives and behaviors a husband brings into his marriage that mimic the events surrounding his wife’s sexual abuse and/or clash with the effects of his wife’s sexual abuse. Some…

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How do you know you are not manipulative?

Survivors of childhood sexual abuse were mentally, emotionally, and physically manipulated by their perpetrators. None of us look favorably at anyone’s manipulation of another person. But how can we know we are not manipulative? I’ve learned that I need to check my motive when I ask my wife questions or do something that involves her. While knowing our true motive…

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What do you do when your wife shares her troubled feelings about her sexual abuse?

Not all survivors talk about their childhood sexual abuse. But some do. Among those who do, some share the dark experiences and feelings of their trauma over and over. So as the husband of a survivor, what do you do when your wife shares her trauma with you? A husband’s mind can easily wander off to sports, work, and to-do…

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Is it ok to be angry at God?

All of us get angry at some time towards someone or something. Survivors of childhood sexual abuse can be angry at the perpetrator who violated their body and personhood. Spouses of survivors can be angry at the perpetrator too. A question for us is, “Is it ok to be angry at God?” For example, is it ok to be angry at God that the abuse happened? This blog offers steps that will help you answer that question.

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