“The Holidays!” Hallmark movies and cards present the holidays with warm, nostalgic scripts and scenes. Songs of the holidays resound with jingles of joy. Decorated homes and cookies portray all things nice and beautiful. The center stage for the holiday festivities is the family gathering. But for victims of childhood sexual abuse (CSA), being with the family of origin—where the…
A survivor’s memory of trauma can be triggered when any of their five physiological senses are stimulated by an environmental condition that occurred during their trauma decades earlier. If your wife is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, there are environmental conditions that can trigger her memory of the abuse. When this occurs, the trauma of her past once again invades her present. The seasonal changes of autumn can be powerful and plaguing triggers.
In this 8-minute video, I offer 6 fundamental principles applied to everyday living for spouses of childhood sexual abuse survivors.
During the Coronavirus/COVID-19 pandemic, many marriages are being challenged in new ways as “Stay at Home” orders are given to many states and localities. Constant togetherness is not always a good thing. Men and women in marriages affected by a spouse’s childhood sexual abuse can find it extra challenging in our new normal. These challenges include: Conflicted couples become more…
I am excited to announce the release of my new book Help, My Wife is a Survivor of Sexual Abuse: Answers to Your Most Important Questions. You will find it on Amazon beginning Monday, September 23, in both paperback and Kindle versions. It is my prayer that the information, insights, and recommendations in this book will lead to transformed lives…
“What do you do for a living?” or “What do you do?” One of these questions is often asked when people are first getting acquainted. My answer to that question is, “Among the things I do, my wife and I lead a ministry that helps husbands and wives rebuild their marriage that has been affected by a wife’s childhood sexual…
How do people respond to you when you say, “I was sexually abused as a child,” or when you say, “My wife was sexually abused as a child?” I am curious and sometimes saddened by peoples’ responses when the topic of childhood sexual abuse is mentioned. If someone close to you is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, or if…
What is it like for you as a husband whose wife was sexually abused as a child? Imagine that you and I are having coffee at a local café in your town (I wish that were possible). Given the vast and various effects of childhood sexual abuse, your situation might not warrant all of the following inquiries. But let’s consider…
Grant recently told me of a loss that his wife had experienced. The lost item had significant financial value. Grant’s wife, Callie, is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. Grant and Callie, not their real names, have both given me permission to share this incident that offers insights into wives who are survivors of childhood sexual abuse. When Callie realized…
My calendar says it is Spring. The view outside my window says otherwise; I live in a northern state. But spring is coming. Many trauma survivors – including survivors of childhood sexual abuse – are aware that spring is coming because of their body’s response to the meteorological conditions that come with spring. Our bodies remember. When I was in…