Survivors of childhood sexual abuse and their husbands typically have great expectations as well. Unfortunately, the effects of abuse eventually invade the life of the survivor and her marriage. The invasion can cause romantic expectations to turn into traumatic experiences. The effects of childhood sexual abuse can cause romantic expectations for marriage to turn into traumatic experiences in marriage. What…
A husband recently asked me, “What should I have as expectations in my marriage?” Most of us (both husbands and wives), entered our marriage with great expectations. Our wedding vows often provide insight into some of those expectations. When you said, “for better for worse, in sickness and in health,” what were you expecting? I’ll admit that I never gave…
“What do you do for a living?” or “What do you do?” One of these questions is often asked when people are first getting acquainted. My answer to that question is, “Among the things I do, my wife and I lead a ministry that helps husbands and wives rebuild their marriage that has been affected by a wife’s childhood sexual…
“My wife was sexually abused as a child.” If you’ve made that statement, or if you could make that statement, then you have likely also asked numerous “when” questions. When will my wife get over her depression? When will she start trusting me? When will her nightmares stop? When will she not always feel like hiding? When will we have…
In the current issue of Time, editorialist Laurie Penny identified questions that many people are prone to ask in response to the recent #MeToo trend; the declaration of being a victim of childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, or sexual harassment. Could this [referring to childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, and sexual harassment] really have been happening to so many women…
One of the most challenging things for a husband whose wife is the survivor of childhood sexual abuse is to forgive his wife’s perpetrator(s). It seems scandalous and ludicrous. How can the husband of a childhood sexual abuse survivor possibly follow the biblical command to, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form…
“I am so angry that I could [fill in the blank]” is a statement commonly expressed by female survivors of childhood sexual abuse and their husbands. Some of us are scared of our anger, some of us salivate in our anger, and some of us are scared while we salivate. I was so enraged at my wife’s perpetrator that I…