In communicating with our wives, if we are not conscious of our motive, we will not be clear in our message. Let’s say that for date night with my wife I say, “Honey, let’s just order out Chinese and have a nice, quiet evening at home.” My message is disguising my motivation because the fuller story is that I’m worried…
From personal experience and from my interaction with other husbands whose wives are victims of childhood sexual abuse (CSA), I know that we men are often hesitant to express some of our needs and frustrations to our wives. Some fear usually hinders freedom of expression. For some, it’s fear that their wives will further distance themselves emotionally. Others may fear…
Last week’s blog referred to the process known as grooming in childhood sexual abuse (CSA). The perpetrator grooms not only the victim but also the community. Having groomed the community, it is possible for the perpetrator to be respected before ever being suspected. Sadly, when the victim discloses CSA, the victim is too often suspected of lying or blamed for…
Bill Cosby was an even better actor than I thought he was. Cliff Huxtable, whom Cosby played in The Cosby Show, was a man with admirable family values and honorable morals. Wow, that was great acting! In more recent years, Cosby has toured the country propagating a message about people taking personal responsibility for their actions. But what Cosby portrayed…
In Part 1 of this blog, I noted Jesus’ self-care leadership with his disciples and highlighted that self-care is a non-negotiable for husbands whose wives are survivors of childhood sexual abuse (CSA). If we neglect self-care, we’ll pay for it in some way sooner or later. Part 2 continues with further self-care attitudes and behaviors that can be implemented in…
For many years, I assumed that anything with the word “self” in front of it was not good: selfish, self-indulgent, self-righteous, self-pity. I’ve now awakened to the fact that there are some exceptions and self-care is one of those exceptions. Jesus, the personification of selflessness, knowing the limitations of his disciples, guided them in self-care. When “so many people were…