I’ll be Home for Christmas. Sung by dozens of recording artists since its first recording in 1943 by Bing Crosby, the song’s lyrics were from the perspective of a WWII soldier who anticipated being home for Christmas. For the soldier, to be home at Christmas was peace and all things nice like mistletoe and presents under the tree. But for…
Guest blogger, Laura Landgraf (author, speaker & life coach), speaks into the lives of husbands whose wives are victims/survivors of childhood sexual abuse.
Men who are married to victims of childhood sexual abuse might experience a marriage in which it seems like they’ve been married to two different women, especially if their wife’s disclosure of the abuse occurred several years into their marriage. Brent’s wife was outgoing and adventurous during the first ten years of their marriage. But after her disclosure of childhood…
Last week, I once again compiled a list of the effects of childhood sexual abuse. Each time I make a list, I am reminded of how broad sweeping and deeply troubling are the effects of childhood sexual abuse. Don’t just read the following list. Take time to consider the traumatic impact of childhood sexual abuse. Clinical psychologist Clark Barshinger said…
This is Part II of a 2-part blog dealing with a question asked by husbands married to wives who are victims of childhood sexual abuse (CSA). We husbands wonder, “When will this trauma finally be over?” The late Yogi Berra was known for his memorable twists of phrases. Yogi once said, “You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t…
Husbands married to wives who are victims of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) want to know where they are on the journey of healing and when they’ll get to the destination of resolve. So they ask: When will this finally be over? When will we get through this? How long will this take? The emotional pain for wives as survivors and…
Last Thursday at 7:46 AM (ET), I joined with countless others by pausing for a few moments to pray for people I’ve never met but people I’ll never forget – the families who lost loved ones in the 9/11 attack on the World Trade Center. I remember the words spoken during the days following 9/11; “Let’s not forget.” Let’s also…
Have you wondered why God seems silent and slow to respond? So have I. My wife disclosed her childhood sexual abuse (CSA) to me more than ten years into our marriage. Everything changed. Life seemed to unravel as she began dealing with the hideous reality of what for years had been stuffed within her conscience. I began asking God to…
Constructive communication between husbands and wives requires intentional and loving expression and receptivity. This is true for all couples, whether or not a spouse is the victim of childhood sexual abuse (CSA). The potential for misunderstandings in communication always exists. Consider the husband and wife whose date night resulted in two vastly different experiences and understandings. Her journal entry at…
In communicating with our wives, if we are not conscious of our motive, we will not be clear in our message. Let’s say that for date night with my wife I say, “Honey, let’s just order out Chinese and have a nice, quiet evening at home.” My message is disguising my motivation because the fuller story is that I’m worried…