How do people respond to you when you say, “I was sexually abused as a child,” or when you say, “My wife was sexually abused as a child?” I am curious and sometimes saddened by peoples’ responses when the topic of childhood sexual abuse is mentioned. If someone close to you is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, or if…
What is it like for you as a husband whose wife was sexually abused as a child? Imagine that you and I are having coffee at a local café in your town (I wish that were possible). Given the vast and various effects of childhood sexual abuse, your situation might not warrant all of the following inquiries. But let’s consider…
Grant recently told me of a loss that his wife had experienced. The lost item had significant financial value. Grant’s wife, Callie, is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. Grant and Callie, not their real names, have both given me permission to share this incident that offers insights into wives who are survivors of childhood sexual abuse. When Callie realized…
My calendar says it is Spring. The view outside my window says otherwise; I live in a northern state. But spring is coming. Many trauma survivors – including survivors of childhood sexual abuse – are aware that spring is coming because of their body’s response to the meteorological conditions that come with spring. Our bodies remember. When I was in…
My wife and I were at a dinner party last week. Since we are still relatively new in our community, we were asked to tell about ourselves. We talked about our involvement with Marriage Reconstruction Ministries and its mission of “helping men and women rebuild marriages affected by a wife’s childhood sexual abuse.” Our new friends around the dinner table…
“My wife was sexually abused as a child.” If you’ve made that statement, or if you could make that statement, then you have likely also asked numerous “when” questions. When will my wife get over her depression? When will she start trusting me? When will her nightmares stop? When will she not always feel like hiding? When will we have…
On the heels of the recent #MeToo trend, an increasing number of accusations of childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, and sexual harassment have been brought against Hollywood celebrities, news media personnel, and politicians. All of the accused, up to this point and to my knowledge, have been male. My wife recently asked, “What made these guys think they were going…
In the current issue of Time, editorialist Laurie Penny identified questions that many people are prone to ask in response to the recent #MeToo trend; the declaration of being a victim of childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, or sexual harassment. Could this [referring to childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, and sexual harassment] really have been happening to so many women…
Thousands of survivors of childhood sexual abuse and women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted were emboldened last week. On Monday, a Huffington Post entry communicated that the “#MeToo quickly became the top trending Twitter hashtag” as sexually abused and assaulted women were emboldened to inform the world that they too had been affected by this blight. According to…
Childhood sexual abuse produces effects on the survivor and poses affects for the spouse, husband in my case, of the survivor. For students and writers, the difference between affect and effect is grammatically important. For husbands whose wives are survivors of childhood sexual abuse, the difference between the two is relationally important. Bear with me for a really quick grammar…